It’s tough to get dating advice from guys because they don’t spend half as much time talking about the dating game as women do. Here we are sharing the 7 most important needs the majority of men want from an intimate relationship.
Don’t worry if you’re lacking in a few categories, talk to any guy and he will tell you that a serious relationship isn’t about ‘checking boxes’.
1. Lust for life: Although this sounds like a cliché it’s really important that you are as happy and as satisfied with life as he is. That said, a man wants to contribute to a woman’s happiness but he doesn’t want to be the sole reason she’s happy.
2. Together we’re better: Men want to be with someone who has their back and helps them achieve their life goals, be it climbing Mount Everest or winning the next Master Chef.
3. Between the sheets: Men want to be with a woman who finds pleasure in physical intimacy and is secure enough in her sexuality that she can share with him what turns her on. Guys aren’t mind-readers so it’s important to communicate your desires.
4. Don't take life too seriously: A relationship without laughter and levity isn’t much of a relationship at all. It’s great that you’ve got your goals and that you are ambitious but remember that we all just want to have fun so don’t take life too seriously and try to laugh at your mistakes.
5. Appreciation: Independence is sexy so don’t become a damsel in distress just because you think that’s what a guy’s ego needs. However, he needs to know he makes your life better by being there for you and doing things for you. This is why paying him compliments and showing appreciation for his effort goes a long way. Think positive reinforcement! ;)
6. Balance: Sometimes men don’t get the nuances of women’s emotions but most of them are open to learning. It’s important to give them context and tell them what you need because, again, they’re not mind-readers.
7. Meaningful conversations: Don’t dumb yourself down just to boost his ego. If he’s into you he’s going to want to have deep and meaningful conversations, and really understand the person he loves so not hiding your smarts is a good thing.
You don’t need to have all of these qualities to be a total catch but we want you to remember that when a guy commits to a woman he is saying Yes to her as well as saying No to all the other women he could be dating. Even if a guy isn’t a player he will still think about the loss of ‘playing the field’ opportunities in those terms. By bringing a lot to the table (or bringing the table, full stop!) he’ll forget about everyone else because the only opportunity he wants is to maximise is you.
Read more about how single men approach love on the Good Men Project website.