I speak to so many singles who are highly successful in their chosen careers, not to mention respected members of their families. Some of them have one thing in common – they’re open to meeting someone, yet they’re not actively doing enough to change it.
More than ever before, I see incredibly busy people all around me. Whether it’s because they’re overburdened with work or family commitments, they tell me that they’re too busy to find love. I have to say, I don’t like taking that as an answer. After all, if it’s not going to be now, when will it be?
So, if you believe you’re too busy to put in the work, here are my questions to you.
Are You Distracting Yourself?
Yes, most London professionals live hectic lives. Work and all the associated elements keep us busy, but are you using that as an excuse to keep you from having to face a reality you don’t want to accept?
Let’s get one thing clear right now – you’re not a big failure if you haven’t met that special someone yet. But if you’re eager to and you’re not taking steps to make it a reality, then you need to change that habit. Divide your time between relationships, work, self-improvement and fun to prioritise what you want out of life.
Are You Spreading Yourself Too Thinly?
Even though Brits are addicted to swiping through dating apps, this isn’t directly proportional to the number of compatible dates they go on. That means plenty of wasted time and, if you’re too busy, the lack of compatible results from swiping is just going to drag your mood down even further.
Instead of spreading yourself across too many unvetted apps with a dubious array of singletons on them, dedicate yourself to searching and messaging on fewer, more high-quality sites.
Are You Setting Yourself Goals?
Relationship goals are just as important as career goals. We know how effective goal-setting can be in our professional lives, so why don’t we apply that same logic to our relationships? Make goals that help you on the road to meeting someone exceptional.
Answer this question - where do you see yourself in six months. How about a year from now or five years? Then work about how you can go about achieving that. Does it start with one date a month or even one a week?
Are You Being Flexible?
Is your diary so jam-packed that everything’s plotted out to the minute? Often, I hear that professional life is so regimented that it doesn’t leave time for anything spontaneous like meeting new people, let alone dating them.
The thing is, you have to make time and think outside the box. If you can work remotely for a little while, why not take advantage of that and work in a coffee shop where you might encounter like-minded people? Try and arrange some flexibility in your schedule so that you can meet someone you like for a late lunch. Being flexible and understanding that you have to change your priorities around to get the life you want is vital.
Are You Balanced?
Your head handles the logic and your heart handles the emotion. Too much of one or the other can throw out your responses and make it more difficult to truly understand what’s in front of you and what you’re aiming for.
I hate to break it to you, but there’s no such thing as Mr or Mrs Perfect. However, there is a soulmate out there who you belong with. Balance your expectations and be sure to push the boundaries a little sometimes.
Most importantly, make sure that finding your life partner is a priority and not just something you think about doing when you have the time.
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